Those notorious Swoveralls

or, How I became the hit of the Slawburger Festival and the fashion plate of the bowling alley

John I. Carney

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Collage of three photos of the author, John Carney, wearing Swoveralls brand fleece overalls. In the left photo, he is wearing a hat and doughnut-print overalls and standing next to a food truck sign reading “I WAS TOLD THERE WOULD BE DOUGHNUTS.” In the center photo, he is wearing navy blue overalls in his kitchen. At right, he is at a bowling alley, posing with a bowling ball, wearing the doughnut-print overalls.

Let’s be clear up front: I have a gut. Too much of a gut. I am obese. There, I’ve said it. Because of the gut, belts are sometimes uncomfortable for me. If I sit for a long time, a belt buckle or a too-wide, too-stiff belt can cut into me and make me uncomfortable.

Years ago, I thought it would be fun to have a pair of ordinary denim overalls to wear on weekends. I bought a pair, but they weren’t roomy enough. They were the right length, but they did not have enough room for my gut and were thus uncomfortably snug around my midsection. (I was a few pounds heavier at the time than I am now, but not much.)

I am not a fashion plate. I generally buy the cheapest clothing I can find in my size, more often than not at Walmart, although lately I sometimes shop at KingSize, a mail order house specializing in big-and-tall sizes. I’ve never been stylish, and am sometimes slovenly. Lately, though, in my doddering old age (I will turn 62 next month), I have started making the occasional nod to style. I have a straw hat that I think looks good on me. I sometimes buy fun socks. I recently spent money on a new suit, my first in years, and I am proud that it looks better than the old suit.

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