That ship has sailed

My cable company’s attempts to woo me back have become a little comical.

Back in the Phil Hartman era, “Saturday Night Live” did an ad parody on the theme “Come back … to carbon paper.”

It’s a funny premise. With the prevalence of copiers and fax machines (e-mail wasn’t yet a big factor, though it soon would be), it was fun to imagine the Carbon Paper Manufacturers of America banding together to try to woo people back to their hilariously-obsolete and inadequate product.

I think about that sketch sometimes when I go get the mail and there’s an envelope with “Spectrum” written on it.

Last fall, I became a cord-cutter — and I was hardly an innovator or early adopter; I felt like I was behind the curve. At the time, I had cable, Internet, and landline VOIP phone service through Spectrum. I cut the cable and the landline. For a month or two, I tried Spectrum’s streaming TV package, but the channels it offered were either not of interest to me, or already available through some other, better streaming package, such as Sling TV.

I am still a customer of Spectrum’s Internet service, which is basically the only real high-speed option on my street. The fact that I’m still…