Mr. Hanks spreads it thick

American Treasures Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson are currently in Australia, suffering from COVID-19, and has been tweeting about it with every bit of the charm and grace we’ve come to expect from him. However, he has not completely escaped criticism. I refer, specifically, to this Tweet:

The tube contains a very Australian condiment known as Vegemite, which (if this is a real photo, and there’s some debate) Mr. Hanks has slathered onto toast in a manner not unlike one would do with Welch’s Grape Jelly.

I have never had Vegemite, but I have become a (rare) U.S. fan of its British cousin, Marmite. The two are not identical, but they are closely related — both are made from spent brewer’s yeast, and both are very strongly flavored. Marmite has a very salty, very savory flavor. Imagine that you had a pot of soy sauce simmering on the stove and forgot about it. You come back to find that the water has evaporated, leaving a syrupy, sticky mess on the bottom of the pot. That’s sort of what Marmite tastes like.

The proper usage of Marmite, and I am told this applies to Vegemite as well, is to…