Embrace for impact
Am I a hugger? Should I be?
Two or three months ago, I was in the middle of a family crisis which was wearing me and my siblings down. I was stressed and exhausted. I was at church and spoke briefly to one of my fellow church members, a retired teacher, about the situation. She consoled me.
“I know you’re not a hugger,” she said.
“I don’t know where you got that idea,” I said. “I would not turn down a hug tonight.”
I got my hug.
Yesterday, I was at a joyful family event — the wedding of my oldest nephew. It was a beautiful day at a beautiful setting, and everyone was in a good mood. I was chatting with my youngest brother and sister-in-law; I forget the context, but it had something to do with family togetherness and the joy of being there at the wedding.
“I know you’re not a hugger, John,” said Lisa.
There it was, pretty much exactly the same phrase, from a different person, in a different situation. I asked her why she thought I wasn’t a hugger.
“Because you don’t hug people,” she said.
That’s a fair answer. But it’s not that I don’t like being hugged. I don’t often initiate hugs because I’m a sweaty fat man and I would be self-conscious about giving a hug to someone who didn’t want one.
